
Dave Polcyn
What would Craig Krenzel look like in a Browns uniform?.
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As salsa slowly grows rancid from the last jar at the 2003 Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, a hero has slowly emerged in Columbus.
From the ashes he has arrived, out of the labels "mediocre" and "system QB" to be known as the next "winner" of college football.
Craig Krenzel, athlete, scholar, minor Buckeye deity, has eclipsed the expectations of the masses, who watched him game after game compiling ho-hum stat lines like 7-of-15 passing for 110 yards. He threw just 12 touchdown passes, but only seven interceptions.
Ohio State fans gasped every time the game was on the line and thereby put in Krenzel's hands. Skeptics cringed as the play clock ticked down, not sure whether he was aware, or if he had the ability to complete a pass.
Surprisingly, without fail, Krenzel came through.
In shocking No. 1-ranked, two-touchdown-favorite Miami, Krenzel ran effectively, passed when necessary, and made a number of smart plays. In the end, Krenzel did what his more acclaimed counterpart, Ken Dorsey, could not. Krenzel, with a less talented team, won a national title.
We can see how this all shakes out after another year of Krenzel Theater. The Buckeyes will have won a second straight national championship and some NFL team will be forced to take a flier on a winning quarterback.
"With the 23rd pick in the sixth round of the 2004 NFL draft, the Cleveland Browns select Craig Krenzel of The Ohio State University."
After a shaky training camp (hindered by his cramming for a molecular genetics final), Krenzel opens the preseason with a very average performance. His numbers are 4-of-11 passing for 97 yards and a touchdown. There are no interceptions and 24 yards rushing.
Browns' coach Butch Davis is relatively unimpressed.
"Well, the kid did OK against the Lions, but we need to teach him to slide when that backside linebacker is bearin' down on him," Davis will say. "He almost got his head taken off there in the third quarter!"
In his second appearance, Krenzel gives fans a glimpse of magic. He directs a drive that goes 86 yards and puts the team in position to beat the Titans. The play comes in: Red Right 88. Krenzel, an astute historian, calls an audible.
Instead, he runs a quarterback draw for a 10-yard TD and collects his first win -- albeit in a preseason game.
By the time the season begins, Krenzel is the unmentioned third-teamer behind Kelly Holcomb and Tim Couch. But a freak injury to Holcomb and Couch's inconsistency give Krenzel his chance in the year's third game. He valiantly leads the Browns to a 6-4 record while Holcomb heals.
The Browns barely miss the playoffs as Holcomb returns with mixed reviews. In 2005, the franchise prepares to deal with a full-fledged quarterback controversy.
But Krenzel crosses up everyone and retires. Medicine is his future. He opens his practice on High Street, just two blocks from Ohio Stadium. One wall is replete with his Sports Illustrated cover shot in a frame. He refuses to wear his national championship ring in the office, it interferes with examinations.
There is talk of a shrine to him in Columbus, but Krenzel nixes the idea -- at least until he cures cancer.
Hey, it could happen, right?
Reach Steven Sharp at ssharp@nncogannett.com.
Originally published Tuesday, January 21, 2003